It has been a long time since I wrote. Changes tend to do that to you. Tumultous changes, that completely change your life. Caught in the swirling flux of life that changes drastically all around you one is left with not too much time to contemplate let alone share one’s feelings via this medium. Major part of the reason for not writing is that while one only had the medium of writing to express one’s thoughts and feelings, now one has a living life partner to share these things in the realtime. To one habituated to be alone now that is a change that takes quite some time to get used to. My last blog was an Ode of Homage to my old cell phone. I guess this one is an ode of homage to my life that ended more a year back.
February 8th of 2016 was when I found my love.
March 6th of 2016 was when I met my love for the first time.
July 11th I married her.
Three lines if you go by timelines, but epochal in their impact to my small life.
Soon after marriage my man cave turned into a home almost overnight. The morning when I left for office it was the epitome of chaos in motion that it has almost always had been. In the evening I could barely recognize my home where I had been living for more than three years!! My wife had completely transformed it to a shape that bewildered me!!! Her absolute genius found utility in the most random things in such a way that I was astonished as to how it could happen. My bathroom which had always been various shades of brown was suddenly revealed to me in its glory of bright blue!! Not just me, even my friends who have been to my home in the years past and had seen it at its worst and hitherto best were amazed at the transformation. This was the first of a series of transformations that have defined my past one year.
Soon we moved to our current home, a big 2BHK apartment where the hall itself was bigger than my previous home in its entirety. We moved to a gated society with security, power backup, elevators, water supply and covered parking!! Hell, there is even a pool, albeit one for midgets! We now have a maid who is even more obsessed than my wife about cleaning everything, we have beds, we have furniture. My riding gear which once had pride of place just next to the door are now relegated to a cupboard in the guest room! I have given up Old Monk, drastically reduced smoking. In the great sarcasm of life in certain circles I am even considered as a responsible adult!!
How the mighty have fallen.
I am at peace with all of these changes. These are things that had to come and come to pass they shall. The inevitable circle of life after all can never be stopped. I lived my life fully as a bachelor. I enjoyed life to the fullest of possibilities, till the extent of my conscience and I have no regrets. And when I felt the instincts of the tides changing I embarked full heartedly to the life of a married man and I am enjoying this life too its fullest.
However there are a few things that I regret. There are some things that I feel shouldn’t have been delegated to the past. I believe the Circle of Life should have been a bit more compassionate regarding these collateral damages of life.
I am no longer in touch with my old friends. My friends with whom I have had some of the best and memorable times of my life, have drifted away from me. I had observed this phenomena for some years as I watched as dominos fall one by one my friends started to get married. Starting with my closest school friends, some of whom are now fathers with their kids in school, to my fellow Heritagers, to my friends from college to my best friends of bachelor days. One by one as they got married, the calls stopped, the messages became infrequent. The intermittent contacts faded down to yearly messages on Facebook or ping on Whatsapp during our birthdays.
I was aware of this process for quite some years as I observed my friends getting married but now a year after marriage I see the same being done by me too. As a bachelor our lives are leisurely and at times boring. We had all the time in the world to lavish on ourselves. However after marriage two lives fuse into one and 48 hours of two individuals fuse into 24 hours of a couple. Compromises have to be made. And it is a good thing. As a married man I have learnt the virtues of patience and selflessness, mainly by observing my long suffering wife. However truth cant be denied, one longer has the plethora of free time that one had as a bachelor.
Thus no longer do I have those hours to ruminate on various ideas to crystallize into writing on the blog. No longer am I bored enough to go a cross country trip just to have some awesome Biriyani. No longer am I able to plant myself in front of laptop/TV to binge watch any movies or TV series.
I do believe that a balance can be struck, actually should be struck. I can not in good conscience allow my old friendships to wither away in apathy. I understand the value of these friendships because I still remember the agony of not having friends. Have I become so conceited in my new fortunes that I can afford to forget in apathy those friends who made my life worth living ? It is going to be a challenge but I think it is a juice that is worth the squeeze.