It is the bane of any Indian man approaching the age of 30 that he has to seriously contemplate with the prospect of marriage. Isn’t it really strange and rather disconcerting that marriage and love are not often spoken together in the same sentence?
As a man approaching the age of 30 a burden I shoulder is the near constant worry of my mother regarding my marital prospects. As per the current matrimonial industrial standards I am certainly not a prize catch, especially with regards to academic, career, salary and looks departments. However my mother, as most mothers are usually bound, has hope ever lasting that her son gets hitched. She has very tight constraints regarding expectations about a future bride of mine, far more stipulations than I could ever think about. Apart from the usual bullshit about horoscope matching she has some particularly tricky geographical constraints which I unfortunately can only laugh at. Besides she has often said she would be devoid of this effort if I managed to find a girl of my own volition, which I have been unsuccessful at. After all finding love is a matter of great probabilities!!
And it is with regard to this probability that I want to write tonight.
With the target being to find a person with whom one can share his life with there are two probabilities: one, the Random Probability and the other, the Manmade Probability.
Random probability governs the odds of one finding a partner suitable to himself, wooing her, developing a romance and building a life of love that one can share with that significant other for a lifetime. This is the stuff that all classical romances are made of, whether in literary, poetic or movie traditions. This is also the boon for many couples that we all meet in our lives, people fortunate to find the loves of their lives during the course of their lifetimes through random probability and then succeeding in wooing them and managing to live their lives together sharing bliss and sorrows together. Basically, love marriage.
Manmade probability determines the lives of the ones who are usually unlucky enough to miss random probability. For them their family, friends or society plays the matchmaker. They are introduced to a female who too is interested in finding a mate. A meeting juxtaposed with a mutual interest in finding a partner to share a lonely life with, leading to a focus to discovering the best potential attributes in the other to justify a decision to spend a lifetime with them. The probability involved determines whether they find each other mutually compatible and worthy of love developing due to proximity and necessity. This basically defines arranged marriage in our great Indian society.
The probability of love everlasting would be the same in both these cases – in love marriage as well as arranged marriage. In both cases the probability is the same. The probability for a love marriage to be sustaining is the same as the probability for an arranged marriage to be, similarly are the probabilities for either to fail.
At this juncture the reader is justified to ask : then why this dichotomy? Why is this writer expending so much midnight oil in discussing two concepts if they are so similar.
It is here that the writer has to admit the personal reservations and comfort levels that one has when it comes to man-made probability. It is inherently more distasteful and much more uncomfortable to trust on man-made probabilities than to trust on random aka natural probabilities. There is a rather substantial measure of formality inherent in arranged marriages especially for the more introvert of people than in random probability or random love. A success or failure can be much more palatable and easier to comprehend when as a result of nature’s probability than as a result of man’s miscalculations.
Be that as it may, every man has an inherent need for a being to share a life with, It may be a woman, a man, a dog, a cat or any living being but it would be a living being nevertheless. When this need becomes strong as it does at a certain age in a person’s life one gets forced to get rid off the possibility of random probability and tend to lean towards the man-made probability, as even the prospect of such an artificial construct seems much more appealing than the drastic dreariness of negativity of probability in random life.
At such a juncture a man has no option but to subscribe to the probabilities of the life at large, in the hope that random and man-made probabilities find a positive juncture to make the life worth sharing.
And that is the juncture that this humble writer has arrived at. Having explored all possibilities of random probability he is now destined to pursue the possibilities of man-made probabilities to their full extent.
May the odds ever be in his favor.